As you age, your body's physical transformations are also having a major influence on your sexuality. Declining levels of hormones and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may result in sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.
These physical changes also mean that the strength of youthful sex will give way to more muted reactions in middle and later life. Yet maturity's emotional by-products — increased confidence, strengthened communication skills, and reduced inhibitions — can help create a richer, more complex, and ultimately fulfilling sexual experience. Nevertheless, the full potential of later-life sex is not known by many men. You can better handle issues if they occur by knowing the key physical and emotional elements that underlie fulfilling sex.
It's simpler now than ever to handle sexual problems. If you need them, there are innovative medications and professional sex therapists. But by making a few changes in your lovemaking style, you may be able to solve minor sexual problems. Here are a few things that you can try at home.
1. Educate yourself, man. There are plenty of good materials for self-help for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, select some resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner get better informed about the issue. If it's too difficult to talk directly, you and your partner can highlight passages you especially like and show them to each other.
2. Allow yourself some time. When you age, it slows down your sexual responses. Through seeking a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free environment for sex, you and your partner will increase your chances of success. Remember, realize that your body's physical changes mean you're going to need more time to get frustrated and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex is not a bad thing; engaging in your lovemaking routine with these physical needs will open doors to a different kind of sexual experience.
3. Use it to lubricate. Sometimes, with lubricating liquids and gels, the vaginal dryness that starts in perimenopause can be easily corrected. Use these openly to prevent painful sex— an issue that can escalate into flagging libido and increasing tensions in relationships. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.
4. Keep up your physical affection. Even if you are exhausted, stressed or upset about the problem, it is important to indulge in kissing and cuddling to establish an emotional and physical connection.
5. Contact touch. The responsive concentration methods used by sex therapists will help you regain physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Such activities are provided by many self-help books and instructional videos. Sometimes, you might want to ask your partner to touch you in a way he or she needs to be touched. This will give you a better idea of how much pressure you should use, from gentle to strong.
6. Try various positions. Developing a variety of different sexual roles not only adds lovemaking appeal but can also help solve problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that can help the woman reach orgasm when a man enters his partner from behind.
7. Have your dreams written down. This exercise can help you identify potential behaviors that you or your partner may think could be a turn-on for you. Try to think of an encounter or a film that stirred you up and then share your recollection with your partner. This is particularly helpful for those with low motivation.
8. Do exercises with Kegel. Through strengthening their pelvic floor muscles, both men and women will improve their sexual fitness. If you were trying to stop urine in the midstream, relax the muscle you would use to do these exercises. Keep the contraction, then release, for two or three seconds. Repeat ten times. Seek to do 5 sets a day. You can do these exercises anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing on a checkout line. At home, women can add muscle resistance by using vaginal weights. Chat about where to get them and how to use them to your doctor or sex therapist.
9. Attempt to relax. While having sex, do something relaxing together, like playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try techniques of relaxation like deep breathing exercises or yoga.
10. Use one of the vibrators. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.
11. Don't give up on that. If your efforts don't seem to work, don't give up hope. A doctor will often be able to determine the cause of your sexual dysfunction and find appropriate treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that might interfere with fulfilling sex life.